Surprize Surprize

Matt,
We started out wonderful - Man it felt so good just being me with you. The writing was on the wall - why should I even be taken aback? why should I have been blindsighted? You got scared -- you left -- I still had had your back --- I still saw your beauty -- I don't think you saw mine. You got scared and you ran out on me again! Did you remember you said you would never do that again. I think not. I think the guy who professes his love -- who feels empty without me -- who feel a connection like he's never felt before (I feel it too baby) -- doesn't spend much time with the "one who can't abide" - I Hate that fuckin' scared self righteous pussy. May he rot in hell. The real you is so amazing but the scared upity you can go to hell. Enough of reaming you out -- where the fuck did I go ? You get scared, you get mean and I well ...I fuckin take it all don't I. You criticize my parenting -- and I well I just take it --- You criticize my weight and I --well I just take it --- You criticize my home which I welcomed you into (where is your home baby?) and I -- well I just take it. In hindsight I think you were right about one thing -- It wasn't ever gonna work -- You need things just so and I am too compliant and live a messy life with wonderful kids and a less than wonderful almost ex. But I do love you and I wish that in a different time in a different universe it woulda coulda all worked out happily ever after. If only you placed your trust in me over your suppossed comfort level -- just imagine. But alas, I'm a mom with kids and an ex and your a fella (albeit a great one) who feels he needs to have things just so to survive. So enjoy your just so and send me a postcard if you get the chance. All my love,


Linda