You are amazing

Do you know that? I hope that you do! You be so smart and so funny. Ok maybe not as funny as me but then again -- come on here -- we're talkin' 'bout me -- the queen o' the funny. I like the way you look. I like the way you think. I like the way you kiss. Damn, I'm hard pressed to find anything I don't like about you. I could talk to you for hours. I wanna just lay in your arms for days and days. Just thinking about you makes me so happy I wanna cry (neurons on the outside baby). I really do miss ya. Uh-oh, I feel some math coming on but I guess your worth it. It's been about 38 hours since I last laid eyes on you. I've only got 10 million things I wanna tell ya when I see ya. I'll try and contain myself so I don't overwhelm you with exuberance or copiousness. I just feel so very lucky to have me all feeling gushy and warm 'bout you and you feeling all gushy and warm about me at the same time. It's pretty fucking amazing you know. Please don't ever feel insignificant as far as I'm concerned. You've got an enormous amount of leeway with me after my stellar performances last week. Plus just knowing your out there being you and thinking 'bout me makes the bad days a tinge less bad without requiring any further action from you at all. And that my dear friend, is a very very good thing.

Stop kickin' my tires!!!!

I don't know what the fuck it is about you but i like you - for crist sakes ok fuck it i probably love you!

Stop kickin' my tires!

I got no crystal ball - I cannot tell the future - I think I know some of what is in your heart and your loins but only you hold the key to that my friend!

I barely know how to cook -forget about deciding what to make for dinner. I have atrocious spelling and even worse grammar. Im pretty bad with $$$ and even worse at following library rules and regulations. My sense of direction boggles the mind and my ability to lose almost everything defies explanation.

Please stop kickin' my tires!

Im a straight-shooter. I've got more heart than most and Im patient to a fault. Im pretty funny if i do say so my self and i've actually got a sense of style. Im amazing with kids and i've got a nice balance of groundedness and spirituality. I am easygoing yet intense at the very same time. Im offbeat, passionate, faithful, and a bit in my head. I have avoided confrontation like the plaugue but once in it Im amazingly coherant and level-headed! Not to mention I've got a nifty twist of phrase.

Enough with the damn test drive -- You gonna buy this car or not?

You lookin' for somebody whose gonna actually wanna spend time with you -- whose gonna miss you when you are not there -- I'm standing right the fuck here. Man o' man I wish I wasn't saying what I think Im saying because I honestly can't get you outa my head my friend. I haven't even dumped baby-face yet and here i am giving you the bitnez! You need to shop around -- go ahead. You need to take a couple of models for a drive around the block. Im not gonna stop you but I can't be part of your cadre of cars you need to keep test driving. As much as I physically want to - I mentally can't do it.

I'll continue to be your friend -- I've absolutely got your back. I care deeply. I have all the information I need to make my purchase without knowing fer sure if im gettin' a gem of a car or a lemon. If your not ready I'll understand and then I too can shop in earnest.

I love you!

Please stop kickin' my tires!

Fuck the whole world!!!!

Fuck stupid-assed teachers who judge judge judge then blame the kids for not learning --Do your fucking jobs or get the FUCK outa my field!!! Get the FUCK outa my way!!!! And get your talons offa my kid while your at it --Fuckin' losers!

Fuck CRAZY-ASSED mentally ill ex-husbands - and your whole side of the family while we be at it -- You are all FUCKED! I don't need any of your shit - Ive done my fuckin time in your fuckin insane asylum - Ive been sprung --please leave me be - the whole lot of ya!!!

Fuck loser ex-boyfriends with absolutely NO self-awareness - NONE - you hear me -- Yeah you!!! Im not fuckin crazy -- ask my rabbi -- he'll vouch -- Im not crazy -- All the rest of you are (maybe i doth stop protesting so much) We were in "la-la" land -it wasn't real - the apprentice isn't real (ok well in a twisted sort of way - a twisted fucked up sort of way) Go ahead and marry Martha Stewart or one of those fuckin Desperate Housewives you LOVE so much and leave me the FUCK alone!!!

Fuck whiney complaining got an answer for everything smile at your face and talk behind your back teachers who pretend to like you. I know your game -- you aint so fuckin smart you know!

And finally - fuck me - go ahead everyone else does! Fuck me for letting any of these losers get to me! Fuck me for being so disorganized that I can't even find the paperwork i need to effectively fight back my ex. Fuck me for caring a lick about what any of these pathetic pieces of shit think!

Can't end giving myself shit so PROPS for me for being fuckin angry at these souls. Let it out girl -- Let it out! Props for stickin' up for my kids and giving it what i've got! Props for forgiving myself for disorganization and saying thanks but no thanks to any of the guilt you peddlers be shoveling! Big props for being an advocate for kids!

The rest of y'all better not mess w/ me cause i'll fuck you up -- you hear me i'll fuck you up good!!!